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Take Consistent Action to Build Success

We all have goals we want to achieve. We all dream dreams we want to come true. We all want to experience and have a successful life, career, and relationships. The question is do we want to do what it takes to get there. Over the years I have learn that some people like the idea—the sound of success and that is the extent their passion and commitment will go. Therefore, they do not realize that to achieve anything of significance, they need to engage in consistent action.

Taking consistent action insist that we do not depend on our emotions to make decisions for us. We must not depend on the weather to determine whether or not we work on our goals today. We must not depend on our electronic devices such as the television, our phones, game console, the pad, and all that we use to distract us these days to hinder us from taking daily action to better our future and to get the things that are important to us done.

We’ve heard of the saying “an object at rest tends to say at rest and object in motion tends to stay in motion.” The same principle applies to our daily lives. The actions we take today determine what actions we will take tomorrow. Our goals do not come to fruition because we are not committed to them and we do not act on them daily. For this new year, don’t just work on your new year’s resolutions for a few weeks or months just to give up. We must keep our focus and act daily to obtain the desired results.

We have to remember that without consistent action, we cannot build and create experiences to carry us to the next level. Through these experiences we will build our confidence, knowledge, and resolve to tackle any problem that may come our way. We will become resilient people who don’t only welcome the fluff but the substance. Talk is cheap! Giving up is weak. Let’s build up our strength by doing something every day to create the life and the future we want.

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Six Dynamic Ways Parents Can Help Children Grow into Leaders

In my professional experience, I have had the opportunity to work with children in educational settings as well as in the criminal setting. Although these experiences provide a number of windows to parenting, I have learned that the majority of parents strive to do their best for their children. Through that experience I have learned many positive and negative parenting behaviors. As a mother of three, I have learned that all the love and comfort in the universe provides no immunity to unintentional bad parenting. We mean to do the best by our children. However, many times we hinder them from thriving, obtaining independence, and fulfilling their potentials as leaders.

The world is tough and at times unforgiving. Therefore, it is imperative that we give our children a dose of the real world empowering them to confront and resolve any situations that they may encounter as adults.

1.      Allow them to engage in genuine risk-taking

The world is a scary place. We are not safe in our homes. We are not safe in our schools. We are not safe online. Therefore, we have become so preoccupied about safety that we prevent our children from experience genuine risk-taking. There are many adverse effects as a result. For example, as adults these children may suffer from low self-esteem and the inability to cope when things seem out of control. So, it is important to allow our kids to problem solve according to their abilities. Do not rush to pick them up when they fall during a sport’s game. Do not rush to save them when they get in trouble at school. Allow them to take in the fullness of the experience. That entails that they will process the situation, take positive action, and accept the consequences.

2.      Allow them to solve their problems

As parents we have to resist the urge to save our children the moment they experience hardships.  I remember as a young mom feeding the children breakfast, lunch, and dinner wrecked my nerves. I had so much to do. The kids were taking forever to finish their meals. I had a bright idea. If I fed them, the task would be over quicker. Little did I know that I was developing a situation that would become problematic in the future. It is through difficult situations that we become who we are. So why wouldn’t we give our children the opportunity to navigate through unpleasant and sometimes painful situations? That is how they develop self-leadership skills that would be priceless in their future lives.

3.      Praise them when they deserve it

Have you ever heard of the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality? This mentality is rampant in little leagues everywhere. The kid may never show up to practice or help win a game, but he is a winner nevertheless. Well, that is what we do all across this country and this mentality comes with some negative consequences. We praise our kids too easily and for little effort. As a result, they are not grounded in reality. And when things get tough they will turn to unspeakable behaviors such as cheating, exaggerating, and lying just to get that pompous rave from you. Eventually, they will find that they cannot trust you as parents because no one else can see what you see.

4.      Don’t let them manipulate you with guilt

Some parents feel so guilty when their children experience disappointments, so they spoiled them with material things. “No” is a two-letter word they cannot bring themselves to say to their children. They can’t bear the fact that their children may not love them even if it is just for a moment. The problem with this type of parenting is that these spoiled children will grow up believing that they do not have to fight for what they value and need. This will serve as a negative weapon that they will continue to use with those who enter their lives. We must teach children that success is a direct reflection of their actions and decisions. The goal is to develop that intrinsic motivation which would allow them to achieve whatever they put their minds to.

5.      Share our pasts with them

Parents are responsible to help their children navigate through the many stages of development. One way we can do that is by sharing our own relevant and similar mistakes that we experienced during the same age. That will help them to learn some positives lessons from the people that they trust the most. We can share with them how we faced a certain situation such as a bully, the specific steps taken, and the lessons learned. This will allow our children to see us as “real people” whom they can come to for all the problems that they may be dealing with.

6.      Be a role model to them

We are our children’s first model. We are the ones to teach them how to make good choices and decisions. We model character, dependability, and accountability for them. We model every day what kind of leaders we are in our homes. Therefore, we must practice what we preach. We can’t sneak in a little white lie whenever it suits our needs. We can’t cut corners, and expect them not to learn that from us. We cannot say “bad words” and expect them not to follow suit. Quite a few times my children would come to me at ask, “Is it okay for adults to say bad words?” My answer has always been an emphatic “No.” I know that they will hear certain things from other adults that they are not supposed to hear. But, I want to make it clear that in our home, we do not talk this way.

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Are You Mentally Strong?

Executives, entrepreneurs, and leaders from all businesses have been primarily concerned with physical health, but now they are learning that mental strength and health is even more important. As leaders we always encourage our people not to give up, to be optimistic, to tenaciously persevere until the desired result is reached. We can also identify mentally strong people by what they refuse to do. Following is a list of put together by a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist Amy Morin. I am sharing her list with you along with my thoughts on how you can apply them to your everyday reality.

  1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. Life is not fair. Bad things happen to good people. Mentally strong people have this keen sense of awareness concerning this very subject. Therefore, they do not spend their precious time throwing pity parties because their circumstances are not what it ought to be. Mentally strong people take responsibility for all that happens in their life without playing the blaming game. Most importantly, they don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves for they have dissected that experience, learned from it, and decided that they are stronger having been through it. Now, they have resources to help them when the next unpleasant situation comes their way.
  2. Give Away Their Power. Have you ever been told that you cannot do something when you know full well that you are more than capable? Did you give in or did you stand up for yourself? Mentally strong people are very aware of their power. They know that they are in the driver’s seat when it comes to others’ intent on making them feel inferior. They know that how they respond to certain situations is the key to keeping their power rather than giving it away to those who have less than good in mind.
  3. Shy Away from Change. So many work hard at escaping change and feel at home in their comfort zones. Not the mentally strong. They welcome change and all that comes with it. They thrive on change knowing that if they do not change then they are not growing. Change becomes a mental work out for the mentally strong providing opportunities for creative and challenging work and play.
  4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Have you ever been caught in a traffic jam? Have you ever had a flight cancelled? These things are out of our hands—they are out of our control. As a result, mentally strong people do not spend any of their valuable time throwing a fit about them. They acknowledge that the only thing that they can do is control how they respond to such situations.
  5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Many people struggle in this area. The people pleasers go out of their way to please others while being unpleasant to themselves. Mentally strong people behave differently. They treat people with respect, kindness, and fairness. They do not please others at their expense and they are not afraid to speak up. They understand how to navigate through difficult situations gracefully.
  6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. What is life without risk? Risk makes everything interesting. The risk that is researched, studied, well-thought out are calculated risks. Mentally strong people welcome those risks, they know what they stand to benefit, and are ready to handle the worst-case scenario.
  7. Dwell on the Past. The best is yet to come. It does not matter if you had the best life. It does not matter if you had the worst life. What counts is today. Mentally strong people learn from the past and avoid getting stuck there. Instead of dwelling on the past, they spend their time and energy in creating the future that they desire.
  8. Makes the Same Mistakes Over and Over. If you do what you’ve always done, you will get what you’ve always gotten. We can’t expect to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect to get a different result. That is insanity. Mentally strong people do not get caught up in these dire situations. They take responsibility for the past and learn as much as they can from it. Successful executives, entrepreneurs, and leaders reflect on their pasts to learn, grow, and become more productive.
  9. Resent Other People’s Success. Who makes up your circle of influence? People who are more successful than you or those that are less successful than you are? Mentally strong people admire those who are more successful than they are. They have no place for jealousy and resentment. However, they are ready to learn from their more successful peers lessons that will help them create their own success.
  10. Give Up After Failure. Failure is the gateway to success. We have to be willing to fail time and time again as long as these failures bridge that gap between where we are and where we want to be. Mentally strong people recognize the value in failing that is why they repeat it more often than not. They recognize that if they are failing that means they are proactively working to accomplish their goals.
  11. Fear Time Alone. Some people fear the thought of spending time alone. However, the mentally strong cherish such a time. It is a time to reflect on things that they have done right as well as thing they can improve on. It is a time to review their plans and make adjustments. It is a time to be creative and productive. The key is they are responsible for their own happiness. They welcome the company of others but they do not demand it.
  12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Executives, entrepreneurs, and employees everywhere have learned especially in this economy that the world does not owe them anything. They are certainly grateful to have a paycheck. Therefore, they know that they have to be thoroughly prepared to succeed in such a competitive market.
  13. Expect Immediate Results. Are you in it for the long haul? No matter what the goal is whether or not it is starting a new business, writing a book, or starting an exercise program, mentally strong people are in it until they have achieve the desired result. They understand that anything worthwhile takes time. Change is not easy; therefore, they practice their “staying power” to get the results that they expect.
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Transforming Fear into Faith: How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of Fear

For some people fear is a dirty four-letter word. It is seen as a negative word that is able to render us to paralysis. Fear seems to have let us down and limit us in so many ways. It limits us when we neglect opportunities for growth and development. Fear limits us when we fail to change knowing that doing the same thing over and over again will result in the same outcome. It limits us when we fail to make hard decisions, take smart risks, and remain in our comfort zone.

Yet, fear is a natural and useful part of life. Fear signals danger, vulnerabilities, and it informs us when and where we should be careful. It is important to know that fear is a companion that we will face whenever we decide to do something new and stick our neck out there.  Some of us allow fear to hinder us from achieving our goals and dreams. However, when we face fear head on, we give ourselves a chance to amass experiences and successes that can strengthen and uphold us when we are rejected, when we make mistakes, and when face difficulties.

Take Back Your Power

When we let fear stop us from starting a new project or taking a stand on a particular subject, we are entertaining the idea that we are not good enough. Our behavior indicates that what we have to offer is irrelevant and is of no value. We decide that if we reject ourselves first, we will not have to endure growing pains. We compare ourselves to those who have made it and place them on pedestals as a way to justify our claim that we are inferior and that we will never measure up.

Often times, we fail to recognize that we are responsible for our powerlessness. We have given our power to our inner critic and accepted negative thoughts as truth. We can break this cycle right now if we choose to feel the fear and go for our goals anyway. Let’s stop running away from fear. We must understand that fear is part of the process and we should not let it stop us from doing what we know we must do in our daily life. Acknowledge that fear exist and keep moving forward. That will enable us to create a bank of successes we can refer to when the next challenge comes around.

Start Now…You Are Good Enough

When fear settles in, the cycle of rejection continues to plaque us by trying to convince us that we are simply not good enough. We tell ourselves that we are not talented enough, we are not pretty enough, or we do not know enough. As a result, we remain stuck and unable to accomplish anything of significance. To blossom and thrive in spite of fear, we have to allow ourselves to do what is in our power to do. We must not make decisions for the world; we must make decisions for ourselves. For example, as a writer my business is to write to the best of my ability and to make my work available to readers. Then it is up to the readers to decide whether or not my work provides useful nuggets to help them improve their lives. So, don’t wait until everything is perfect; it will never be. Let’s do our part, start with what we know, and let the world decide if what we have to offer is good enough.

Keep a Victory Log

To blossom and thrive in spite of fear, we must count our successes even when our inner critic tells us that they are not good or big enough. Keeping a victory log comes in handy as a resource to kick back fear when we need courage to keep moving forward or when starting a new venture. To set the victory log into motion, it is important that we determine exactly what it is that we are afraid to do. So, make a list of things such as asking for a raise, starting a business, or leaving the kids with a babysitter. Then look at the list carefully and set a plan in motion to tackle each item on your list. If we are not doing what we are afraid to do; we will never know our fullest potential. As a result, we deny ourselves the biggest opportunity to grow and to live an effective life.

Therefore, if we are afraid of speaking; let us start speaking now. Then write down any and all progress—big or small. After a short time, it becomes clear that our fear is unfounded and that we create them by imagining a negative outcome rather than a positive one. The best way to get better at doing something is to practice. Celebrate the slightest of improvements and write it down in the victory log. That will allow us to create positive images and memories to carry us to our next endeavor.